Pledge to America

I am bringing a new lemon fresh pledge to America! It will be a new governing agenda for Americans, by Americans to exclude non-Americans and some Americans. It is an agenda built on the priorities and principals of the founding fathers:

1. I plan to chop down a cherry tree and tell my father it was the Democrats.

4. Taxes shall be apportioned by adding to the whole number of free persons, including those bound to service for a term of years, probably in television, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other persons.

2. The government shall not infringe on the right of the people to own a musket.

7. I will expand our agrarian economy by opening up more public lands for farming…hemp farming. We have to write the new Constitution on something.

3. The Congress shall assemble only once in every year and such meeting shall be in December on the last Tuesday.

6. Congress will have to work on July 4th. Only Congress would celebrate the hard work of the founding fathers by taking the day off!

5. Any person held to service or labour in one state, escaping into another, shall be delivered up on claim of the party to whom such service or labour may be due, probably Goldman Sachs.

9. The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. No joke there.

10. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these States.

27. Repeal the Constitution. It was passed by a liberal Congress.

0. I will burn witches.

This is my pledge to America!