Trippitorial – The Debates II


The debates are over and it’s about time. If this is the price for living in a democracy, I’m glad I don’t live in one.

The last debate was the debate of the smiley face versus the serious face. Obama had a different face for each debate. Romney just had the one—smiley face. In the first debate, Obama didn’t bring a face. He wasn’t there. In the second debate he brought a smiley face like Romney, but it didn’t fit him. In the last debate he brought his serious face, which sometimes bordered on annoyed. At one point during the last debate, I thought Obama was going to turn to Romney and say, “Mitt, you ignorant slut.”

In the second debate, Romney said he had a five point plan. He never named any of the points in his plan. That’s a good plan. In the third debate Mitt Romney said he had a plan for the future, which he will tell us about in the future.

Romney said pay equity for women was an important topic, but not to him. The first question in the foreign policy debate asked the candidates what they would do if there was a threat from abroad. This sounds like a question for the GOP! “You do what you’d do to any dame who gets out of line. You take away their charge card! And their reproductive rights.”

Romney has a bold plan for day 1 of his presidency: “on day 1, I will name it day 2!” his five point plan has six points. I would prefer 9-9-9.

Romney’s talking point on Benghazi was wrong, but he kept going.

“Go on.” That was the smiling Obama.

Romney wasn’t backing down from his debate prep. “That’s not how we rehearsed it! I just want to make sure you repeat what you said because that’s not what your understudy said in rehearsal.”

“Go on.”

If Mitt Romney gets elected president, he’ll send a Mormon mission to Iran. That’ll get them to disarm, or to zero in on a new target.

Romney’s plan for Syria? It’s worth more broken up.

Romney wants to be the education president, as long as the kids aren’t educated about him. “When I was Governor, our 4th graders came out number C.”

When Mitt Romney talked about Israel, he started rhyming: “If Israel is under attack, Mitt Romney has got your back. Word to your mother. And would it kill you to call?”

Mitt Romney said he was a son of a…you’re darn right he is. At one point he referred to the audience as “folks” because he’s “folksy.” Mitt said he wanted to be America’s leader, but he needed the support of American voters and the support of magic underwear.

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