Trippitorial – "The Republican Convention"

As I film this Trippitorial, Clint Eastwood is sitting next to me in a chair. And he doesn’t like many takes, even though this is one of my longer Trippitorials. A hologram of John Wayne will drop by later to promo the Bluray release of Green Berets.
A lot of people thought a hologram of Ronald Reagan might show up at the Republican convention. Interestingly, Ronald Reagan’s hologram couldn’t remember selling arms to Iran to pay for arms for the Contras. Ronald Reagan’s hologram didn’t appear because it’s still only 2-dimensional.
With all the film and references to Ronald Reagan at the convention, I thought he was running again. But no, it’s Mitt Romney. Magic underwear for everyone!
I think the overall theme of the Republican convention was, “My betters deserve better!” And, by God, they do. The first night they tried to strike a theme of “We built this,” but it turns out they used factories in China.
We have nothing to fear from this Republican Party except allowing them to finally succeed in dismantling the New Deal. It will be a day of infamy.
There were a lot of chants of U.S.A., which was helpful, because I think a lot of the delegates forgot where they were, besides Clint Eastwood.
There weren’t enough flags at the convention.  I almost forgot the Republicans were Americans. More flags, Damnit! Of course, I’m kidding. There were so many flags on display; I began to wonder if they were magic flags! Oh, sure, the Democrats have flags, but Republican flags have more red, white, and blue in them. Of course, they are made in Korea.
There were so many promotional films about Bain Capital. I was expecting a call for a shareholder’s vote.
A lot of minorities were in the show, but don’t worry, they all had their papers.
Scott Walker was there to represent the younger, dumber wing of the party.
Paul Ryan made a nifty speech. Of course, he told so many lies, when it was over his mother washed out his mouth with soap. It was Ivory soap, though, so it was 99% pure. Some men see things that are and ask, “Why?” Paul Ryan sees things that never were and says, “Why not say they are?”
Ann Romney opened her spot with a prayer for property. God bless you Ann Romney! And God bless all your houses and cars and boats and horses and…well, you get the idea…God.
Ann Romney said she loves women, but not so much that it would be interesting. She also said something along the lines of “There would not be Americans without America!” That’s going right in my president act.
Chris Christie was a little scary. Apparently his mother read him the Prince instead of the Little Prince. “It is better to be fat than to be loved.” Christie wants to fundamentally reduce the size of government. First, he should reduce his size. Gluttons should not preach about gluttony.
Rand Paul got a spot for some reason and told the story of the Tang family, which didn’t surprise me because “the Pootie Tang Family” was a very underrated movie. If rand Paul is the future of the Republican Party, thanks for the memories.
I don’t mind telling you when they played the theme from Top Gun to introduce John McCain, I was afraid he was going to jump.
A common theme of several speakers was that Romney made his money the old fashioned way. He pillaged it. Someone pointed out that Mitt Romney didn’t take a salary when he was Governor of Massachusetts. Of course, he would have needed a stateside bank account to cash the check.
The Republicans are out of touch. One of the speakers said that the poor “don’t know what it’s like to risk money…” because they don’t have any. Get it? Stupid Republican.
Jeb Bush pitted teacher’s unions against kids, painting teachers as villains for wanting to earn a living wage. Republicans love kids unless they grow up to be teachers. The Republicans don’t like unions. “If workers didn’t want to be paid, there’d be more jobs in America!”
Mitt Romney said if you vote for him, he’ll create about 12 million new jobs. Vote for me. I have a plan to create about a gazillion new jobs. Also, I can name, in Congress, 87 card carrying members of the communist party. If I am elected I will create new opportunities for creators of job creators.
One thing I noticed about the musical acts, the Republicans couldn’t attract any good headliners. The Democrats have the Foo Fighters and who knows who else. I wouldn’t book G. E. Smith and his band for a high school mixer.
One of the biggest applause votes of the three days was for a .357 magnum. For a minute I thought they would nominate it in the first ballot! It could have run with the chair.

 
There was a lot of God at this year’s convention. One of the speakers said, “God doesn’t like government.” Must be why he doesn’t pay any taxes. Were they voting for Mitt Romney or Missouri Jesus? God bless God. Too many “God bless yous” at the Republican convention and not enough sneezing.

Trippitorial – “The Republican Convention”

As I film this Trippitorial, Clint Eastwood is sitting next to me in a chair. And he doesn’t like many takes, even though this is one of my longer Trippitorials. A hologram of John Wayne will drop by later to promo the Bluray release of Green Berets.

A lot of people thought a hologram of Ronald Reagan might show up at the Republican convention. Interestingly, Ronald Reagan’s hologram couldn’t remember selling arms to Iran to pay for arms for the Contras. Ronald Reagan’s hologram didn’t appear because it’s still only 2-dimensional.

With all the film and references to Ronald Reagan at the convention, I thought he was running again. But no, it’s Mitt Romney. Magic underwear for everyone!

I think the overall theme of the Republican convention was, “My betters deserve better!” And, by God, they do. The first night they tried to strike a theme of “We built this,” but it turns out they used factories in China.

We have nothing to fear from this Republican Party except allowing them to finally succeed in dismantling the New Deal. It will be a day of infamy.

There were a lot of chants of U.S.A., which was helpful, because I think a lot of the delegates forgot where they were, besides Clint Eastwood.

There weren’t enough flags at the convention.  I almost forgot the Republicans were Americans. More flags, Damnit! Of course, I’m kidding. There were so many flags on display; I began to wonder if they were magic flags! Oh, sure, the Democrats have flags, but Republican flags have more red, white, and blue in them. Of course, they are made in Korea.

There were so many promotional films about Bain Capital. I was expecting a call for a shareholder’s vote.

A lot of minorities were in the show, but don’t worry, they all had their papers.

Scott Walker was there to represent the younger, dumber wing of the party.

Paul Ryan made a nifty speech. Of course, he told so many lies, when it was over his mother washed out his mouth with soap. It was Ivory soap, though, so it was 99% pure. Some men see things that are and ask, “Why?” Paul Ryan sees things that never were and says, “Why not say they are?”

Ann Romney opened her spot with a prayer for property. God bless you Ann Romney! And God bless all your houses and cars and boats and horses and…well, you get the idea…God.

Ann Romney said she loves women, but not so much that it would be interesting. She also said something along the lines of “There would not be Americans without America!” That’s going right in my president act.

Chris Christie was a little scary. Apparently his mother read him the Prince instead of the Little Prince. “It is better to be fat than to be loved.” Christie wants to fundamentally reduce the size of government. First, he should reduce his size. Gluttons should not preach about gluttony.

Rand Paul got a spot for some reason and told the story of the Tang family, which didn’t surprise me because “the Pootie Tang Family” was a very underrated movie. If rand Paul is the future of the Republican Party, thanks for the memories.

I don’t mind telling you when they played the theme from Top Gun to introduce John McCain, I was afraid he was going to jump.

A common theme of several speakers was that Romney made his money the old fashioned way. He pillaged it. Someone pointed out that Mitt Romney didn’t take a salary when he was Governor of Massachusetts. Of course, he would have needed a stateside bank account to cash the check.

The Republicans are out of touch. One of the speakers said that the poor “don’t know what it’s like to risk money…” because they don’t have any. Get it? Stupid Republican.

Jeb Bush pitted teacher’s unions against kids, painting teachers as villains for wanting to earn a living wage. Republicans love kids unless they grow up to be teachers. The Republicans don’t like unions. “If workers didn’t want to be paid, there’d be more jobs in America!”

Mitt Romney said if you vote for him, he’ll create about 12 million new jobs. Vote for me. I have a plan to create about a gazillion new jobs. Also, I can name, in Congress, 87 card carrying members of the communist party. If I am elected I will create new opportunities for creators of job creators.

One thing I noticed about the musical acts, the Republicans couldn’t attract any good headliners. The Democrats have the Foo Fighters and who knows who else. I wouldn’t book G. E. Smith and his band for a high school mixer.

One of the biggest applause votes of the three days was for a .357 magnum. For a minute I thought they would nominate it in the first ballot! It could have run with the chair.

There was a lot of God at this year’s convention. One of the speakers said, “God doesn’t like government.” Must be why he doesn’t pay any taxes. Were they voting for Mitt Romney or Missouri Jesus? God bless God. Too many “God bless yous” at the Republican convention and not enough sneezing.

Buy My Book:

The Hierophant

Live Tweets From The GOP Convention – Night 3


#RonaldReaganhologramcan’t remember selling arms to Iran to pay for arms for #Contras.
#RonaldReaganhologramis still only 2-dimensional.
Some men see things that are and ask, “Why?” #PaulRyansees things that never were and says, “Why not say they are?”
will be appearing as a hologram with Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention.
#JohnBoehner‘s orange face goes well with the red background.
I haven’t been this excited since I wasn’t.
Is #RonaldReaganrunning again?
#Newtlooks like he’s auditioning for a morning talk show with his wife. I’d pass.
Couldn’t they get two microphones?
#Newtshould die his hair like #RonaldReagan.
Somebody figured out America isn’t all old white men.
#GOPwill put Latinos on the road going South.
#Obamais brushing up on his Spanish.
#Unionsvs. Kids? Come on! #JebBush
#Godbless God.
“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, so pick me up at the airport.”
If I didn’t think #MittRomney‘s religion was creepy before…
He avoided the draft by going on a mission…
Did this fire fighter belong to a union?
What was #MittRomney‘s executor’s fee?
#Godpasses “Blessing Baton” to #MittRomney.
I don’t feel so good myself. Bring flowers.
Marconi plays the mamba. #Webuiltthiscityon government roads.
I don’t get it.
“They don’t know what it’s like to risk money…” because they don’t have any. Get it?
Will there be a shareholder’s vote after the film?
Drug Money.
“Where else but in America could you live in this country?”
#MittRomneydidn’t take a salary because he would have needed a stateside bank account to cash the check.
Is this #AmericanIdol?
Is it too late to vote him off?
#MittRomneyis an Olympian God!
It was a #MagicFlagmade of #MagicUnderwear.
What’s this song about? #America
 I want the #GESmithband for my high school mixer.
I think #ClintEastwoodis losing the debate.
“Get off my White House lawn!” #ClintEastwood
#JohnWaynehologram will speak next to promo #BluRayrelease of #GreenBerets.
#Obamais sitting next to me in a chair.
It’s always helpful when they remind me where I am. #USA
“My betters deserve better!” #MittRomney
Keep them doggies movin’ Rawhide! Don’t try to understand ’em Just rope and throw and grab ’em Soon we’ll be living high and wide. #GOP2012
I attack your success, #MittRomney!
“Vote for me! I have a plan to create about a gazillion new jobs.” #JamesTrippforPresident
“If I am elected I will create new opportunities for creators of job creators.” #JamesTrippforPresident
#Castro‘s Cuba—Drat! #MittRomney
Too many “God Bless Yous” tonight and not enough sneezing.

Live Tweets From The GOP Convention – Night 3

#RonaldReaganhologram can’t remember selling arms to Iran to pay for arms for #Contras.

#RonaldReaganhologram is still only 2-dimensional.

Some men see things that are and ask, “Why?” #PaulRyan sees things that never were and says, “Why not say they are?”

will be appearing as a hologram with Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention.

#JohnBoehner‘s orange face goes well with the red background.

I haven’t been this excited since I wasn’t.

Is #RonaldReagan running again?

#Newt looks like he’s auditioning for a morning talk show with his wife. I’d pass.

Couldn’t they get two microphones?

#Newt should die his hair like #RonaldReagan.

Somebody figured out America isn’t all old white men.

#GOP will put Latinos on the road going South.

#Obama is brushing up on his Spanish.

#Unions vs. Kids? Come on! #JebBush

#God bless God.

“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, so pick me up at the airport.”

If I didn’t think #MittRomney‘s religion was creepy before…

He avoided the draft by going on a mission…

Did this fire fighter belong to a union?

What was #MittRomney‘s executor’s fee?

#God passes “Blessing Baton” to #MittRomney.

I don’t feel so good myself. Bring flowers.

Marconi plays the mamba. #Webuiltthiscity on government roads.

I don’t get it.

“They don’t know what it’s like to risk money…” because they don’t have any. Get it?

Will there be a shareholder’s vote after the film?

Drug Money.

“Where else but in America could you live in this country?”

#MittRomney didn’t take a salary because he would have needed a stateside bank account to cash the check.

Is this #AmericanIdol?

Is it too late to vote him off?

#MittRomney is an Olympian God!

It was a #MagicFlag made of #MagicUnderwear.

What’s this song about? #America

 I want the #GESmith band for my high school mixer.

I think #ClintEastwood is losing the debate.

“Get off my White House lawn!” #ClintEastwood

#JohnWayne hologram will speak next to promo #BluRay release of #GreenBerets.

#Obama is sitting next to me in a chair.

It’s always helpful when they remind me where I am. #USA

“My betters deserve better!” #MittRomney

Keep them doggies movin’ Rawhide! Don’t try to understand ’em Just rope and throw and grab ’em Soon we’ll be living high and wide. #GOP2012

I attack your success, #MittRomney!

“Vote for me! I have a plan to create about a gazillion new jobs.” #JamesTrippforPresident

“If I am elected I will create new opportunities for creators of job creators.” #JamesTrippforPresident

#Castro‘s Cuba—Drat! #MittRomney

Too many “God Bless Yous” tonight and not enough sneezing.

Buy My Book:

The Hierophant

Live Tweets From The GOP Convention – Night 2

The greatest challenge for #MitchMcConnell is reality.
 
“To call #MitchMcConnel a blank is an insult to blanks.”
 
#Blade has #Cheney‘s old heart.
 
#GESmith does not rock.
 
I almost forgot the #Republicans were #Americans.
 
More flags, damnit!
 
“Look back to the future!”
 
#RandPaul got a spot?
 
The future of the #RepublicanParty has no future.
 
“The Pootie Tang Family” was an underrated movie.
 
Hung is on 1st, Twong is on 2nd, and I don’t know who is on 3rd.
 
“We won’t let you bankrupt this great nation. That was Bush’s job.”
 
“We have nothing to fear but the #RNC trying to dismantle the #NewDeal.”
 
“Doesn’t G.W.’s administration owe the Treasury money?”
 
No scandal? #ValeriePlame?
 
Neither George endorsed #MittRomney. Must be women’s work.
 
Are we voting for #MittRomney or #MissouriJesus?
 
Played theme from #TopGun for #McCain. I hope he doesn’t jump.
 
This is like the dinner table scene in #AnnieHall.
 
We can change the channel!
 
I hope the attorney generals sue each other.
 
Hard to believe they lost.
 
Do you want a V8?
 
That’s a bad joke.
 
#Thune has a stain on his lapel.
 
#Romney will break up the 50 states to sell off.
 
No mention of #nuclear or nu-cu-lar.
 
Can’t the #RNC get any headliners?
 
#Romney made his money the old fashioned way. He pillaged it.
 
Surprise keynote from #RonaldReagan#Hologram.
 
I think it’s #TimPawlenty‘s fault.
 
Losing convinced #Pawlenty to support #MittRomney.
 
Call me #UncleSugar.
 
Do you #Limbo?
 
Check her birth certificate! #RNC #Rice
 
It doesn’t matter who you are as long as you have ID.
 
 
#RNC nominates #357magnum for President!
 
#PaulRyan has the same stain on his lapel as #Thune.
 
It started with an obstructionist Congress. It ends with #PaulRyan out of office.
 
The only difference between #Palin and #Ryan is lipstick.
 
I hope #PaulRyan‘s mom is over 55.
 
#PaulRyan wants to invade #Syria.
 
Does #PaulRyan believe in #magicunderwear?

Live Tweets From The GOP Convention – Night 1

2:14 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

Does everyone in Colorado have to wear a uniform?

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

Looks like #MittRomney will get nomination in first ballot. Delegates want to beat the rain.

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

casts all his votes for: https://www.facebook.com/jamestrippforpresident …

3:09 pm PST  James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

Is it too late to recall #ScottWalker as a delegate to the #GOPConvention?

“It’s official! #MagicUnderwear for everybody!”

4:33 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

didn’t know #Christie could sing.

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

But does she have a birth certificate?

6:04 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

#ScottWalker the new, dumber #RepublicanParty.

#GOP built America…using Chinese factories.

#Trippitorial: Legitimate #Republicans:http://youtu.be/i-51CBkZvlc 

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

#Santorum must have #clammyhands.

6:35 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

“All men are created equal in the #GOP as long as they are not endowed with a #Vagina.

“God doesn’t like government.” Must be why he doesn’t pay any taxes.

7:05 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

“If workers didn’t want to be paid, there’d be more jobs in America!”

“We deserve Mitt Romney?” Is that like @Originalsin?

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

#AnnRomney opens with a prayer for property. God bless you Ann!

“There would not be Americans without America!”

And God Bless Tiny Tim!

James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

“The best thing about #NewJersey is the food.” #Christie

#ChrisChristie‘s family benefited from government G.I. Bill.

#Christie‘s mother read him #ThePrince instead of #TheLittlePrince.

#Christie wants to fundamentally reduce the size of government. First, he should reduce his size.

 

Live Tweets From The GOP Convention – Night 1


Does everyone in Colorado have to wear a uniform?
Looks like #MittRomneywill get nomination in first ballot. Delegates want to beat the rain.
Is it too late to recall #ScottWalkeras a delegate to the #GOPConvention?
“It’s official! #MagicUnderwearfor everybody!”
didn’t know #Christiecould sing.
But does she have a birth certificate? 
 #ScottWalkerthe new, dumber #RepublicanParty.
#GOPbuilt America…using Chinese factories.
“All men are created equal in the #GOP as long as they are not endowed with a #Vagina.
“God doesn’t like government.” Must be why he doesn’t pay any taxes.
“If workers didn’t want to be paid, there’d be more jobs in America!”
“We deserve Mitt Romney?” Is that like original sin?
#AnnRomneyopens with a prayer for property. God bless you Ann!
“There would not be Americans without America!”
And God Bless Tiny Tim!
“The best thing about #NewJerseyis the food.” #Christie
#ChrisChristie‘s family benefited from government G.I. Bill.
#Christie‘s mother read him #ThePrinceinstead of #TheLittlePrince.
#Christiewants to fundamentally reduce the size of government. First, he should reduce his size.