"Comedy Nation This Week" – June 22, 2012

Here’s today’s podcast with panelists Laurie BuckleyDave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss the latest in the 2012 Presidential race, private prisons, the Justice Department’s investigation of the cable industry, the weekly Trippitorial and more.

Trippitorial – Immigrant Song

Obama wants to give what amounts to amnesty to some illegal immigrants. We already gave it to bankers! There’s only so much amnesty to go around—domestically. Of course there’s always Amnesty International.

I say leave the illegal immigrants alone! I am sick and tired of people saying they’re sick and tired of the sick and tired. People who rail are people who fail to see the profit of putting illegal immigrants in jail.

This is a whole segment of the population that can’t vote for the people who are legislating against them. It’s a Republican wet dream. It’s a no lose proposition, especially if you’re Corrections Corporation of America,lobbying to correct America since 1983.

Illegal immigrants are the fastest growing segment of the American prison population and they’re starting to crowd out the pot smokers. Prosecuting illegal immigrants is big business for the private prison industry. Illegal immigrants are job creators.

Leave them alone. Illegal immigrants are some of my favorite people. They’re just like regular people, only illegal.

I get the other side. I, too, am tired of illegal immigrants coming to this country and stealing all our jobs. Of course I’m talking about Canadian comedians. The reality is you just have to be funnier than they are, and let’s face it, that’s not too hard.

But if you stop prosecuting illegal immigrants it’s bad for business and what’s bad for business is bad for America! Unless you weren’t born here, but that’s not my business.

Still, private prisons shouldn’t be too worried. The drug laws should keep their profits growing. But what happens if they make pot legal? There wouldn’t be anybody left to put in private prisons. I hope somebody bails them out.

Michael Bloomberg wants to make sodas illegal, which is bad for some business, but it could be good for the private prison business. The problem with the prisoners in this model is that they’re too big to jail.

For some Republicans, immigration reform isn’t enough. They want to get rid of some of the people that were born here too. Most Republicans don’t make sense. I think we should make English the official language of the GOP.

Mitt Romney is still on the fence about immigration. When he falls off, all of his wife’s horses and all the kingpins won’t be able to put Mitt Romney’s immigration policy back together again

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