Trippitorial – "Space"


"Free Speech Show" – Cable News, Newspapers, Blogs and the Internet; What’s happened to the News?

Here’s today’s podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists examine the changing look of Modern media.

"Comedy Nation This Week" – May 25, 2012

Here’s today’s podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss Net Neutrality, the Facebook IPO, the Space X launch, the latest Trippitorial and more.

Trippitorial – Space
This week, corporate America launched itself into space, and that’s a good place for it. Besides Earth, most of the rest of the Milky Way is unincorporated, which means, according to the United States Supreme Court, no persons live there.

I remember when NASA sent a probe to look for intelligent life on Mars. First, they should look for some here. Of course, instead of a probe, they’d probably use a drone. Maybe there’s some intelligent life in Yemen. Drones are better than probes because if you find an intelligent life form, you can blow it up, especially if it’s more intelligent than you.

Every year, NASA spends billions of dollars trying to contact alien life forms to let them know we’re here. Maybe I don’t want alien life forms to know that I’m here! You didn’t see Native Americans sending up smoke signals to the Europeans: ‘come get us!’

We can’t let the aliens do to us what we’ve done to indigenous populations, even though we were just kidding. Besides I, for one, don’t want to be running a casino in two hundred years. Maybe in thirty years…

Anyway, if man were meant to go into outer space, he wouldn’t burn up during re-entry. Oh, you can go up there, you can go right ahead. Just don’t come back.

That probe they sent to Mars indicated that there may have been life on that planet. I have enough trouble with the life on this planet. The probe found microscopic bacteria in a Martian rock. No wonder Martians are an extinct race. Who’d have sex with bacteria? Other bacteria, but that’s not the point. The point is, if your species is gonna be around in a billion years, you have to be something somebody wants to have sex with. Maybe that’s not the point either.

I knew a girl once who said she’d had sex with aliens. She wouldn’t have sex with me, but she had sex with aliens.

That’s definitely not the point. The point is it’s about time someone privatized space! It was getting too expansive.

I claim the second asteroid on the right for Queen Isabella of Spain!

"Free Speech Show" – Spirituality, Atheists and Religion

Here’s today’s podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss spirituality, atheists, religion and my soon to be published book, The Hierophant.

"Comedy Nation This Week" – May 18, 2012

Here’s today’s podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss the Facebook IPO, census demographics, Greece, Spain and more.

Trippitorial – Robbing Banks
The real profit to be made in robbing banks is if you’re the bank doing the robbing. As soon as you give a bank your money, they create fees so they don’t have to give it back. So if you deposit five dollars, they’ll create a five dollar fee for only having five dollars. They’ll call it a “low amount” fee. You should have had six. Of course, then it would be a six dollar fee. This is a good system…if you’re a bank.
When I was a kid, banks used to give you toasters to open an account. They wanted your business.  They treated their customers like customers. Of course, there was more regulation and more competition. With all the bank mergers going on, soon there will just be the Fed and one big commercial bank with an investing subsidiary left standing, neither of which our government will control.
Nowadays banks treat their customers like a teat to be milked. They are to be raped and pillaged. Customers are something banks tolerate. Customers are to be exploited. If they’re dumb enough to pay one fee, maybe they’ll pay two. And meanwhile, the bank will be gambling with your money.
Every time I go into a bank, I expect the teller to produce a gun and say, “Stick ‘em up!” They charge interest rates larger than Louie the loan shark and break you if you fail to repay in ways that Louie can only dream about. There are no usury laws. Who needs ‘em?
Bank lobbyists have managed to re-legislate most of the 1933 banking act, except for FDIC insurance. They like that. After all, if they’re going to gamble with depositor’s money, somebody has to pay for it.
Now JP Morgan Chase is on their way to losing 2.5, maybe 3 billion dollars. They call it hedging because if they called it what it really was, it would be illegal. If only we’d let them regulate themselves. They wouldn’t break any more laws because there wouldn’t be any.