"Comedy Nation This Week" – April 20, 2012

Here’s today’s podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss the War On Women, Citibank, Argentina’s natinalization of YPF and more,
Trippitorial – Words
I don’t trust words or the people who use them. Nobodyever lied to me before I could speak. I should never have listened.
When you’re a baby, you can get a lot more by crying thanby using complete sentences. Of course, it’s a simpler world with simplerwants. You either want to eat or evacuate what you’ve eaten. And only the firstpart requires any real effort. But once you learn how to speak, instead ofpeople just giving you things, people start wanting things from you.
Once you learn a language, it’s hard to feign ignorance,unless you’re in Congress. The only reason my parents taught me to speak was sothey could say, “eat your broccoli!” And I’d know what they mean. Before I hada facility with words, a perfectly acceptable answer was “Ba ba ba.” But assoon as you use words like, “I don’t like broccoli,” it sets up a confrontation,especially if you say it like that. I blame words.
Before I could speak, a simple facial expression couldcommunicate, “do I look like I like broccoli?” Of course, the same expressioncould indicate a buildup of gas, which broccoli can exasperate. That’s still noreason to use words. Why do you think that swear words are always the firstwords that kids want to learn in a new language? Because that’s what words doto you. The first thing you want to learn how to say is, “fuck.”
Parents teach you how to speak to try to convince youthat their view of reality is the correct one. People who already speak havestopped listening to them so they’ll talk to you until you stop listening, whichwill probably be sometime soon after you understand what they’re saying.
Once they have you listening, it isn’t long before theyhave you believing in Santa Claus and God and that the United States is ademocracy. Do you really think you’d believe in Santa Claus if they didn’t usewords to lie to you? It’s not like you’d be walking down the street one day andsuddenly think, “Hey, I’ll bet there’s some fat, old guy in a red suit who’sgoing to climb down my chimney in the dead of a cold, dark winter’s night. “MaybeI should call the police.”
Words. Who needs them? Next time you think, don’t usewords. How would you think if you didn’t use words? How would you communicate?Maybe we’d develop telepathic powers if people would just shut up. Nobody wouldhave to talk. Everybody would know what everyone else was thinking— not much.
I’m James Tripp and I’llbe back next week with another Trippitorial
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