"Comedy Nation This Week" – April 13, 2012

Here’s today’s podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss the 2012 election, ALEC, the War on Women, and Communists!
Trippitorial – The War on Women
Men bother me. If I’ve learned anything from women, it’sthat men are pigs, especially when they hold erected office.
Why do some men want to tell all women what to do with theirbodies, especially when these are the very men that most women don’t wantanywhere near their bodies? Most of these men wouldn’t know what to do with awoman’s body. They don’t even know how to touch themselves, which would be asin in their church if they did, especially if they did it in their church.
A man telling a woman what to do with her body is like apriest giving marriage counseling. Those who can’t do, preach.
It’s always stupid people who think they’re smarter thaneveryone else. These people think they know better than you do what you shoulddo. It’s people who do what they’re told to do that want to tell you what todo. “I’m doing what I was told to do! You should too!”
These are the types of people who, when they were kids, ranhome screaming and crying, “Mommy, he’s not following the rules!” That’sbecause he’s not a sucker. They’re not his rules. They’re not even your rules,they’re somebody else’s rules written to control you and you’re letting themcontrol you. Sucker. And now you want to write some rules to control somebodyelse, you big bully!
I have nothing against the religion that most of theseerected politicians follow except that most of them follow the religion. I’mnot a big fan of followers. Religions are usually misogynistic with sex lawsthat are thousands of years old that pre-date birth control and feminism.Religious rules want to lock you into a marriage and they want you to have as manykids as you can to make the religion bigger.
If that’s what you want to do, that’s what you should do. Ifyou don’t want to drink or smoke or have sex, that’s great, don’t. Me, I’mgonna do all those things. In fact, I’m probably going to do all these thingswith your daughter.
But that’s not the point I’m trying to make.  The point I’m trying to make is that justbecause the Declaration of Independencesays, “All men are created equal,” itdoesn’t mean these erected politicians should get cocky.
Anyway, the Declarationof Independence was written on hemp and that can’t be good. And most ofthese suckers never read it anyway. Another document most of them never readthat was also written on hemp is the Constitution,the blunt that can be amended.
Remember the Equal Rights Amendment? Remember how it almostpassed? They did a pretty good job defeating it when there was no internet orsocial media, but how do you think they’d fair today if women made passage ofan Equal Rights Amendment part of the 2012 election? I think it’s a war theywould lose.
Of course, women shouldn’t take this war too personally.These same pricks also want to tell men what they can do with their bodies.“Don’t smoke this, and don’t drink that and why would you want to put a needlein your arm?” Well, why wouldn’t you want to put a needle in your arm? MaybeI’m getting off the point.
Here’s a good thing to consider if you ever find yourself ina state house or Congress: if you don’t have a uterus, you don’t get to makelaws about them.
I’m James Tripp and I’ll be back next week with anotherTrippitorial.
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