Here’s today’s episode of “Comedy Nation This Week” with me, Laurie Buckley, and host Bill Bronner:
The Panel Discusses the State of the Union, the GOP Florida debates and more.
Trippitorial: Class Warfare
When Rick Perry pulled outof the Republican race, I expected him to endorse me, but instead he endorsed aNewt. I don’t blame him though. Newt probably yelled at him, and we know howmean Newt can be. Maybe he thinks he can be Newt’s VicePresident. He could be the new Dan Quayle. Nobody’s would assassinate Newt Gingrichif Rick Perry was the Vice President.
Jon Huntsman was poised toendorse me, but obviously somebody got to him and he ended up endorsing twit Romney.It’s almost like they don’t even want to acknowledge I’m in this race eventhough I’m not.
And then Huntsman accused ex-president Barack Obama (if Iget in this race) of provoking class warfare. The only thing Jon Huntsmanprovoked was James Tripp, even if I’m not running.
Who is causing classwarfare? The people eliminating the middle class. It’s not the people beingeliminated. Shut your pie hole! It’s like Newt Gingrich blaming me for himeating too many Twinkies! Shut your pie hole, Newt and you won’t get so fat! Ifyou’re not a poster boy for gluttony, then you’re probably a poster boy forsomething else that may explode at any minute from a continual internalcombustion of bile.
The class who benefit byexploiting another class doesn’t want it pointed out. They’d make it illegal todiscuss if they could get away with it. They’d call it sedition, or some wordlike that that fat people say to keep skinny people from eating the food.
But I digress, and it’s agood thing too. The upper class accuses the lower class of fomenting a classwar to silence them. The rich foment a class war by hoarding all the wealth. Ifthe poor foment anything it won’t be a war, it will be a revolution. Wars arefor the rich. You need uniforms. The poor can’t afford uniforms! They’re luckyto have shoes!
So shut up about a classwar, because if you want a class war, you’ll get a class war. At least that’swhat Rambo said…I think.
Be careful what rhetoric youpursue, you may not like where it takes you, you silly primary Republicans! Putthat in your twitter and tweet it!
I’m James Tripp and I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial!