Here’s yesterday’s episode of “Comedy Nation This Week” podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:
The panel discusses SOPA, PIPA, the North Carolina GOP Primary, the cruise ship disaster and more.
Tripptitorial: Corporations Want to Control Everything!
From thisday forth, I will no longer be known as James Tripp. I will be known as James Tripp,Inc. I recently incorporated to avoid federal election spending limits and for the limited liability because I’m liable to doanything. Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. Twas Hamlet’scorporation.
People arenot corporations. Sure, anybody can put an Inc. on their name, but acorporation is so much more than an individual. For example: an individualwould not think to patent his own DNA, but a corporation would! As a matter offact, I don’t own the licensing on several of my chromosomes, which cansometimes be a problem.
Corporationswant to control everything! They want to control the internet! I’m afraid tolook at porn on the internet, because they’re probably looking at me! The big media companies would like to turn the internet intosomething they can control, but they can’t control James Tripp!
I don’t careabout the intellectual property rights of corporations; they’re rights theystole from my friends! I remember the non-union deals everyone was getting onthose cable shows that ruined stand-up in the 80’s and 90’s. They were$300-$500 buyouts for unlimited rights. Now the producers of those shows areselling the performances on DVD, on Hulu, Netflix and any other means ofdistribution not yet created and none of my friends are getting paid anything! ButBudd Friedman was able to buy a new monocle. Now he can see out of both eyes. Fieon corporations, I say! Fie!
You knowwhat scares big media corporations? In the digital age, intellectual propertyoriginators don’t need them. We no longer need the middle man and creativecorporate accountants to get paid. We just need to set up a website and reachour audience directly. That’s what scares them.
Corporateinterests want to put a stop to this. They want to keep artists on theplantation. They’re trying to change the way the internet operates to make itmore like radio and TV where they control the content.
They want toreshape the internet, which was created by the government with taxpayer money,so that their content and services—and those of companies that pay steepfees—will travel quickly along a “fast lane.” Everything else, like “Comedy Nation This Week” would be stuck in a “slow lane.” They want to chargedifferent prices for different things. They also want to be able to chargewebsite owners rates for them to be able to access their customers. They wantto make money off of both sides.
SOPA and PIPAare a flanking a move in the corporate attack on net neutrality. You thinktraffic’s bad in LA, wait until you get in the internet slow lane. Hey, I have enough troubles already. Notonly do I have road rage. I have walking rage. Now I’m gonna have internetrage.
Maybe it’s time to re-regulatethe mainstream media. Regulation of vertical monopolies is not necessarily abad thing. This is James Tripp, Inc.; I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial,God Damnit!