"Comedy Nation This Week" – January 27, 2012

Here’s today’s episode of “Comedy Nation This Week” with me, Laurie Buckley, and host Bill Bronner:

The Panel Discusses the State of the Union, the GOP Florida debates and more.
Trippitorial: Class Warfare

When Rick Perry pulled outof the Republican race, I expected him to endorse me, but instead he endorsed aNewt. I don’t blame him though. Newt probably yelled at him, and we know howmean Newt can be. Maybe he thinks he can be Newt’s VicePresident. He could be the new Dan Quayle. Nobody’s would assassinate Newt Gingrichif Rick Perry was the Vice President.

Jon Huntsman was poised toendorse me, but obviously somebody got to him and he ended up endorsing twit Romney.It’s almost like they don’t even want to acknowledge I’m in this race eventhough I’m not.

And then Huntsman accused ex-president Barack Obama (if Iget in this race) of provoking class warfare. The only thing Jon Huntsmanprovoked was James Tripp, even if I’m not running.

Who is causing classwarfare? The people eliminating the middle class. It’s not the people beingeliminated. Shut your pie hole! It’s like Newt Gingrich blaming me for himeating too many Twinkies! Shut your pie hole, Newt and you won’t get so fat! Ifyou’re not a poster boy for gluttony, then you’re probably a poster boy forsomething else that may explode at any minute from a continual internalcombustion of bile.

The class who benefit byexploiting another class doesn’t want it pointed out. They’d make it illegal todiscuss if they could get away with it. They’d call it sedition, or some wordlike that that fat people say to keep skinny people from eating the food.

But I digress, and it’s agood thing too. The upper class accuses the lower class of fomenting a classwar to silence them. The rich foment a class war by hoarding all the wealth. Ifthe poor foment anything it won’t be a war, it will be a revolution. Wars arefor the rich. You need uniforms. The poor can’t afford uniforms! They’re luckyto have shoes!

So shut up about a classwar, because if you want a class war, you’ll get a class war. At least that’swhat Rambo said…I think.

Be careful what rhetoric youpursue, you may not like where it takes you, you silly primary Republicans! Putthat in your twitter and tweet it!

I’m James Tripp and I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial!

Live Tweets From GOP Debate Part XIV

will be tweeting the #GOPDebatebeginning at 5 pm PST and rooting for Sheldon #Adelson.
#CNN‘s opening makes this seem like a #sportingevent.
Will the crowd be muzzled or rabid?
Theycontinue to use the same wardrobe consultant.
Where’s #SteveTylerwhen you need him?
is thrilled to be tweeting.
wonder’sif #Santorum‘s mother wishes she had an #abortion.

#Newtis pretending to be calm tonight.
Why is noone yelling?
Someonegot to them.
Let’s getthose grandmothers to work!
“Idoubt that’s my ad. I’m not sure if I’m running for President.” #Romney
We’d be alot better off trading #Newt to #Cuba.
#Romneyis not answering the question about regulating #FreddieMac.

#Newtis not answering the question about regulating #FreddieMac.
Dopoliticians need more #regulation?
This is arepeat of Tuesday’s #Newt#Romneyduel, but someone told them to be civil.

#Santorumscores with planned moment.
I thinkit’s important we don’t use the word castigate. #Romney

#Newtinto attacking #Media mode.

#Newt #Mitt #Santorumwondering which is the 16th amendment.
doesn’t feel so good himself.
One ofthese days…bang…zoom… #NASA

#Newthas been taking #space #moneyas long as he’s been taking money.
Kudos to #Newtfor bringing up #race of the races to #space.

#Newtquoting #JFKfeels dirty.

#Mittproving you can’t run the government like a corporation.
The PanamaCanal is being widened so #Newt can fit through.
We need tobeat #Chinato the moon before they build a wall around it.
“Weneed to repeal insurance reform and go to the moon and unseat Castro.” #Newt
Here goes #Romneytalking about his imaginary #Obama.

#Santorum‘s surging.
First theycame for the young’s health care, then they came for the older #American‘s#healthcare.
would have#Rubioopen for him At Tickles Laugh Hut in Oskaloosa, #Iowa.
A teaserabout the candidates wives #WolfBlitzer?#Tacky.
Whosefather can beat up whose father #WolfBlitzer?
Whosegirlfriend will make the best first mistress #WolfBlitzer?
Whatreporter will be the best White House press corps reporter #WolfBlitzer?
What kindof a tree would you be #WolfBlitzer?
Did youwrite these questions yourself #WolfBlitzer?
Let’s getback to the debate #WolfBlitzer.

#Romneyis “Terribly politically involved.”
is closerto #Reaganthan #Newtor #Romney.
It’s abouttime someone invade the #BayofPigs!
We shouldpoison #Castrowith a cigar.
We need ablockade around #Cuba!
One ofthese things is not like the others. #RonPaul
Mrs. #Gingrich#3’s hair has not moved since the last debate.
will movethe capital of the #USA to #Maui. #CNNDebate

#Newtshould seek guidance from me.
I havemore money than anyone else. #Romney

#MittRomneyis running for President to lower his #taxes.

#Santorumdoesn’t acknowledge #RonPaul.
I can’twait until the next #GOPDebate!

Live Tweets from the State of the Union

January24, 2012, 3:54 pm PST James Tripp @thejamestrippwill be live tweeting the State of the Union tonight beginning at 6pm PST. Meanwhile, check out this DVD extra: youtu.be/FxwcJx0-21E
is hoping the #GOPside acts like a #GOPDebate audience.
Hail to the tweets
It looks like John Kerry was SwiftBoated again.
I’ll bet if #NewtGingrichwas hugging Congresswoman #Giffords,he’d leave her.
Republicans unsure if they shouldapplaud America.
Obama should run for President.
When Obama asked everyone to worktogether, only one side was applauding.
The #GOP likethe rules the way they are.

#Obamaput in place new rules the #GOP want to repeal.
I helped bail out #GMand I don’t even own a car.
“The American #Autoindustry is back!” Cough! Hack!
doesn’tknow if it’s a good thing that a lock maker is working at full capacity.
What kind of tax cut should acomedian get?
Can you [Obama]sign my tax form?
I will goto any market and not find any American products.
Our workersare the most productive in the world as long as I can leave early on Friday.
Obama wassupposed to point at me in the chamber, but there was no point.
If thiswas a #GOPDebate, when #Obamasaid, “Lay off teachers…” there would have been applause.
Somemembers of the #House should be sent back to #school.
“Boots on the Border”sounds like a #Pornmovie.

#Obamais playing the “Race for the Future” card.
Oil isn’tenough. I want more, more, more!
The gas inthe chamber could last 200 years.
How willthe #oilindustry survive without tax credits?
Send #Obamaa bill that creates a job for me.
Does #TomPettyknow #Obamawon’t back down?
#GOPsees #PayrollTaxCut as bargaining chip for #Keystone.
“Fairshare of taxes?” #MittRomney is covering his ears.
#WarrenBuffet’s secretary pays more taxes than me. She has a job.
Is #ChrisDoddlistening?
January24, 2012, 7:02 PST James Tripp @thejamestripp
Finally “Finally.”
The #2012 campaign is off andrunning.

From the Archives: The Fenced Letter

When I was a reporterfor the Martha’s Vineyard Timesduring the nineteen-eighties, one ofmy beats was the town of Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts. A story I covered concerneda private beach club, the East Chop Beach Club, suing the town over theownership of a bulkhead.
At the turn of the 20thcentury, the body of water adjacent to the beach club was known as Squash Pondand was probably fresh water. At that time, about 300 feet of beach land wastaken by eminent domain and a channel was dredged, creating a salt waterharbor. In the 1930’s the town built a bulkhead. In order to do this, OakBluffs was granted an easement to give them access to build and maintain thebulkhead. Members of the town and residents of Oak Bluffs both shared the useof the bulkhead. In 1958, the beach club became a yacht club but kept the beachclub name. The town said that they maintained the bulkhead until 1978, when theprivate club constructed a gate at the entrance to the bulkhead, limiting thetown’s access.
 The town owned two acres of beachfront adjacentto the club and you had to cross over club owned land to get to it. Thiseasement remained unobstructed and I would often use that stretch of beach asit was close to where I lived. I would also jog through there during my morningrun. One dawn I noticed that the club had started to construct a second fence.This one was on the beach separating their beach from the town beach. It was aneyesore.
By this time, I hadquit the Martha’s Vineyard Timestwice, which is another story. I was working at a radio station, but thisdidn’t seem like much of a radio story. It was more of a literary event. Idecided to write a letter to the editor and in addition to my former paper, Ialso submitted it to the Martha’s VineyardGazette, which was established in 1846. TheMartha’s Vineyard Times was established right before I got there. That’sanother story.
I remember when I handdelivered the letter to my old paper, the News Editor asked, “Is this anexclusive? Are you just giving this to us?”
And a reporter who knewme better than he did said, “No, he wants this to be read.”
She was right. I gavethe letter to both papers. As a matter of fact, I gave it to the Gazette first. They had an earlierfiling deadline.
So here’s the letter Iwrote.  There’s a lot of metaphor. Youmay be able to tell I had recently graduated from college with an Englishdegree.  Some people liked this letter.Some people did not. This is what it said:
August 12, 1985
To the Editor:
I was sitting on thepublic beach in East Chop early one morning late last week, reading a book,when Robert Frost suddenly said, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,that sends the frozen-ground-swell under it and spills the upper boulders inthe sun, and makes gaps even two can pass abreast.” It was not an unusual thingfor the poet to say. He had said it before.
I looked up from thebook and noticed that someone had started to build a wooden fence to separatethe town owned beach from that portion claimed by the East Chop Beach Club.Whoever the builder was must have done it during the night or on a previous day, for there was no one at the halfcompleted structure to take responsibility for what was being done.
“The gaps Imean,” Frost said, “No one has seen them made or heard them made, butat spring mending-time we find them there.”
I stood up and walkedover to investigate the fence builder’s handiwork. I brought the book with me.
It was shaping up to bea fine fence as fences go. The builder had gone to the trouble of pouringconcrete into the sand to anchor the wooden poles. Further down the line, therewere already other holes dug to pour more concrete in to anchor more poles tocomplete the structure.
As I said before, itwas early. The beach was deserted. I looked over at the beach club building andits structure seemed to say, “Good fences make good neighbors.” I think ifthere had been a member there, I would have asked him to explain.
And Frost said,”We do not need the wall: He is all pine and I am apple orchard. My appletrees will never get across and eat the cones under his pines.”
Although I don’t alwaysagree with Frost, he was right this time. But I didn’t tell him because I wouldnever hear the end of it. I put the book down and ran into the water.There,  the beach club had no authorityto build a wall.
On Saturday I returnedto the beach with my book and the fence was almost complete. There was someonein the employ of the beach club making a great deal of noise, banging woodenboards onto the fence. The worker then proceeded to staple signs to the boardwhich read: “WARNING! NO TRESPASSING. THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.Hunting, Fishing, Trapping or Trespassing for any purpose is Prohibited UnderPenalty of the Law.” It was a common sign, not made expressly for theclub.
When the worker wasdone, so was the fence done. He returned to whatever his other duties were atthe club. Perhaps he worked at the front desk making sure that everyone whopassed his way was a member.
“Before ‘I built awall,” Frost took up where he had left off a previous day, “I’d askto know what I was walling in or walling out, and to whom I was like to giveoffense.” The poet sounded angry, but the beach club did not listen. 
I put the book down togo for a short swim. On my walk to the water I wondered if there would be morefences at the bulkhead if the beach club won the pending land court case. 
“Something thereis,” Frost grumbled as I dove into the sound,  “that doesn’t love a wall, that wants itdown.”
                                                                        JamesTripp
OakBluffs
The Editor of the Martha’s Vineyard Times gave theletter the headline: “Frost on Walls.” I forget what banner was used by the Martha’s Vineyard Gazette. One of myroommates, who sold ads at my paper, asked me if I really had a Robert Frostbook with me. I said, “No.” That seemed to bother him. He shouldn’t have been bothered;the letter was the result of the scars of a New England liberal arts education.It was bound to come out that way. He had had a New England business schooleducation—different perspective. It probably would have bothered him to knowthat I really wasn’t at the beach that first day. I was just jogging through.That’s when I got some of my best ideas. One of my other roommates was atypesetter for the Gazette. Shetypeset my letter. She didn’t get it either. She thought I was weird. Those twowere actually having summer sex with each other—nothing serious. I’m not sureif they got each other.
It turned out I wasright to put the letter in the Gazette. Someoneon the Planning Commission told me his father read the letter out loud at thedinner table. The next time the Planning Commission met, they determined thefence was built without a permit and they made the East Chop Beach Club take itdown.
I don’t know how thelawsuit turned out. I didn’t stay on the island much longer. I did an internetsearch and I couldn’t find anything about it. I don’t really care anyway.That’s not the point of the story.
I remember that every timeone of the DJ’s at the radio station saw me he said, “Something there is thatdoesn’t love a wall, that wants it down.”

"Free Speech Show" – Making Change – January 20, 2012

Here’s yesterday’s podcast of the “Free Speech Show” with me, Laurie Buckley, Patrick Devine and host Bill Bronner:

"Comedy Nation This Week" – January 20, 2012

Here’s yesterday’s episode of “Comedy Nation This Week” podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:
The panel discusses SOPA, PIPA, the North Carolina GOP Primary, the cruise ship disaster and more.
Tripptitorial: Corporations Want to Control Everything!
From thisday forth, I will no longer be known as James Tripp. I will be known as James Tripp,Inc. I recently incorporated to avoid federal election spending limits and for the limited liability because I’m liable to doanything. Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. Twas Hamlet’scorporation.
People arenot corporations. Sure, anybody can put an Inc. on their name, but acorporation is so much more than an individual. For example: an individualwould not think to patent his own DNA, but a corporation would! As a matter offact, I don’t own the licensing on several of my chromosomes, which cansometimes be a problem.
Corporationswant to control everything! They want to control the internet! I’m afraid tolook at porn on the internet, because they’re probably looking at me! The big media companies would like to turn the internet intosomething they can control, but they can’t control James Tripp!
I don’t careabout the intellectual property rights of corporations; they’re rights theystole from my friends! I remember the non-union deals everyone was getting onthose cable shows that ruined stand-up in the 80’s and 90’s. They were$300-$500 buyouts for unlimited rights. Now the producers of those shows areselling the performances on DVD, on Hulu, Netflix and any other means ofdistribution not yet created and none of my friends are getting paid anything! ButBudd Friedman was able to buy a new monocle. Now he can see out of both eyes. Fieon corporations, I say! Fie!
You knowwhat scares big media corporations? In the digital age, intellectual propertyoriginators don’t need them. We no longer need the middle man and creativecorporate accountants to get paid. We just need to set up a website and reachour audience directly. That’s what scares them.
Corporateinterests want to put a stop to this. They want to keep artists on theplantation. They’re trying to change the way the internet operates to make itmore like radio and TV where they control the content.
They want toreshape the internet, which was created by the government with taxpayer money,so that their content and services—and those of companies that pay steepfees—will travel quickly along a “fast lane.” Everything else, like “Comedy Nation This Week” would be stuck in a “slow lane.” They want to chargedifferent prices for different things. They also want to be able to chargewebsite owners rates for them to be able to access their customers. They wantto make money off of both sides.
SOPA and PIPAare a flanking a move in the corporate attack on net neutrality. You thinktraffic’s bad in LA, wait until you get in the internet slow lane. Hey, I have enough troubles already. Notonly do I have road rage. I have walking rage. Now I’m gonna have internetrage.
Maybe it’s time to re-regulatethe mainstream media. Regulation of vertical monopolies is not necessarily abad thing. This is James Tripp, Inc.; I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial,God Damnit!