"The DAMage Report" – June 13, 2011

Here’s yesterday’s show with me, Steve Gelder and host Johnny Dam:

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Live Tweets From GOP Debate

June 13, 2011, 1 pm EST:
thejamestripp James Tripp
will be live tweeting tonight’s GOP debate from the Congressional Gym’s locker room.

Prediction for tonight’s debate: Mitt Romney will deny his Massachusetts Health Care plan 3 times before the cock crows.

Republican candidates are now debating who will lead “the Pledge of Allegiance.”
Herman Cain wants us to elect him so he can get away from his grandchildren.
Why doesn’t Godfather’s Pizza hire 50,000 workers like McDonald’s?
“My whole plan involves a plan.” I’m voting for Pawlenty.
Why does Mittcare call it Obamacare?
Tim Pawlenty having trouble veering from script. Should take improv class.
Why can’t I think of a phrase like Obamneycare?
Obamacare is to blame for everything! It ate my homework!

Those who don’t remember history are condemned to be in this debate.
The set reminds me of the Lincoln-Douglas debate.
I’m not voting for anyone with Elvis and Johnny Cash on their iPod.
Mitt Romney is making the UAW the bad guy. I hope his car breaks down in front of a union shop.
I’m in favor of sending George Bush (either one) to Mars.
I think Michelle Bachman’s eyelash extensions are breeding.
Gingrich wants to privatize Space exploration. I want him to privatize his campaign.
If Romney hates the Federal Government so much, maybe he ought to run for Massachusetts Governor.
Newt doesn’t like “Dancing With the Stars” since Tom Delay was indicted during the finals.
<a 9 pm EST:
Herman Cain introduces “Mediscare” into debate. Bravo!
Bachman can quote Obama. Maybe she should listen.
Tim Pawlenty memorized a lot of stuff to say.
Weiner is Googling Santorum.
Cain makes the others look moderate.

thejamestripp James Tripp
is taking a loyalty oath during the commercials.
Romney gives Bruins score and wins debate.
Santorum doesn’t believe in evolution, but he does believe in de-evolution.

Republicans are in favor of people being alive. Bold position.
Santorum’s grandfather came to this country to get away from his grandmother.
Cain and Pawlenty want to put the federal borders in the state’s hands. More bureaucracy.
Natural gas discovered in New Hampshire!
Romney wants to turn over military command to the Taliban. That doesn’t seem right.
Ron Paul seems like the adult. The others are rascally urchins.
People are not in our national interest.
Feckless is a good word.

It’s not my favorite word.
Michelle Bachman wants Steve Tyler to pick her vice president.
Newt can kiss the audience’s ass all he wants; he was still run out of Congress by the villagers.
Scene.

"The DAMage Report" – June 8, 2011

Here’s yesterday’s show with me, Bill Freiberger, Lakota Phillips and host Johnny Dam:

"The DAMage Report" – June 6, 2011

Here’s today’s show with me, Chris Bonno, Brett Gilbert and host Johnny Dam:

Paul Revere’s New Ride

Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Of the American political system in deep arrears.
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a moose is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year,
Let alone a politician.
Paul Revere said, “If the British suppress
Your second amendment rights to-night,
Fire a shot into the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal spark, —
One, if by land, and two, if by sea;
And I on my front porch will be,
Ready to spread the alarm
To the British:
“You won’t take my arms!”

Hollywood Hemptress Hour – June 1, 2011

Here’s yesterday’s show with me, Adult Film Director Erica McLean, G-licious Dishes with Shilo Jingle Foot and hostess Tere Joyce: