Good news, brothers and sisters! We have won a glorious battle on the western front! Triumphs mount in Euroasia as the Iraqi people continue to embrace the occupation of their country by our forces! The inevitable victory is close at hand! War is peace! Freedom is slavery! Ignorance is strength!
The Republican leaderships of the House and Senate have reached a compromise on the doubleplus good renewal of the Patriot Act. Our glorious leader will sign the four year extension into law before Christmas!
Soon the terrorists will be on the run! They will have no place to hide in our cities. They will not be borrowing books from our libraries. They will not be making calls on our phones. They will not be looking at pornography on our internet. Praise to our leader! All Praise!
[Editor’s note—The Lincoln Group contributed to this post.]